I worked out friday morning and it still hurts! I played poker at night and broke even. Went to the bar to meet Tara for her Birthday party. The place was dead and my friends weren't there. I called my friends and found out that the party was moved to their house. Well, Tara never showed up to her own party. I celebrated for her. She called in the morning but I ignored it; no one wakes me up. Saturday, I wanted to get out of the house but no one else seemed to want to do anything. So I watched some old movies. Friends picked me up around 730pm and we hung out at their place. Went home at 2am. Woke up early this morning. Don't know why. I never get up before noon on the weekends. I think I will go see a movie today. Why do I have such lazy aquaintances?

O.k. for Angelivy I will give one more regret. This could be a long one.

I worked hard my freshman and sophmore year of HS to become popular. By sophmore year I had a fan club. Girls followed me to school in the mornings, and tried to hangout next to my friends and I at lunch. A few girls would just come up and assume they were in the crowd. For my friends I became the bouncer. Not that I wanted to, but my friends came first. I can remember being a vicious ass to a few kids to get them to go away. I had the unique knack to know what bothered someone about themselves, and I would attack it. With most it only took one attack, and we would never see them again. One, I finally had to make cry. The bad part was I actually liked her. Not in a romantic way, I just thought she was a sweet girl. I digress though. I tell you this because you must understand how I was with my "cool" friends to get the story.

Her name was Maggie, and she was one of three girls who tried to weasel into our crowd. They showed up everyday at lunch. Two of them liked me. I proved a sufficent ass to dissuade one, but not Maggie. By Junior year, I had a girlfriend, and had calmed down a little. The three had silently become a part of our crowd. Eventually I found that Maggie's continual smiling made me happy. I told her from now on she was my little sister. I always saw the look in her eye that told me she felt differently, but for me, dating a younger girl was social suicide. She was only a year younger, but it felt like such a huge differance at the time. We began talking a lot more and I considered her a very good friend. One day her usual smile was no where to be found. I knew something had to be wrong so I bugged her until she had finally told me. She told me that her boyfriend had forced her to have sex. I was so pissed and tried to tell her she didn't need a guy like that. She cried on my shoulder and finally agreed that she deserved better. When I questioned her later she said that she couldn't break up with him and was mad at me for telling her to. Women! Eventually, she did, and eveything was back to normal. I told her my problems, and remember crying on her shoulder. She really was sweet. I watched her grow and head down the path that most did in my HS. Which is not a good one, but I gave her my support. At my senior prom, I almost left my date to go with her to the beach. This is all random memories of her now. The only two girls I ever called girlfriend HATED Maggie. I couldn't understand how anyone could hate such a sweet girl. That day that Maggie told me she was raped, and she cried on my shoulder, she left makeup on my shirt. When Sandra saw it she went crazy. "What the fuck is that???" I told her a Maggie was crying and I was consoling her. This, apparently, was not an acceptable answer to her. I couldn't tell her why she was crying but it didn't matter to her anyways. Another time I lent a small jersy I had for a prep rally. It looked really cute on her. I wasn't expecting her to wear it to school, but I didn't care. My girlfriend did though, lol. She was so mad. I can understand that though. I wouldn't like if she was wearing some dudes jacket, but I never expected her to wear it to school, so what was I to do? Ask her to take it off? I don't think so. Anyways, graduation comes and goes, and I am in the Navy. We never kept touch, but I always thought of her. Two years after HS, I am driving down the road, thinking about her, and wondering why my girlfriends never liked her, and it hits me. I love her. Not just care about her, I was in love with her. It took me that long to realize what was gone. I tried finding her everytime I have gone home with no luck. I still miss her, but I think I am a little more in control of my feelings for her. Time has a way of making things fade. So there is probably my biggest regret.