So I go to the bar on Friday night. I decided to tell Katie about Tampa, and even thought about taking her, but I figured that I didn't want anything to distract me from Kristi U. I ask Kristi C (stay with me because there is more than one Kristi) to come over and have a few beers. I figured that she was going to sit at Dee's and drink, and I think she needs to get out more. I had three beers at the house and left to the bar. I have one drink at the bar and order another. Katie gets there as I get my new drink. I walk outside to send a reply to Kristi C's text message. As I am out there I feel my head spinning like I have been drinking since I woke up. I get back in and tell Ron that I am fucked up. I figure I better slow down. I don't. I get really ripped. I start to talk with Katie about going to Tampa. I didn't invite her to go by the way. By the end of the night, I am so frustrated with this girl. I asked her how she felt. I just wanted a simple answer. Filtering out all the crap: she said, "I don't want any boyfriends right now" and, "I have had sex with two guys; one who was nice and another who raped me. I think I like being forced better." I was so pissed about not getting a straight answer from her, that I just stopped talking to her and starting chatting with the two girl who were next to us. Ron told me so much that I did that night, and I had forgot it all. So I am done with her on a romantic level. This is definitely not what I am looking for. I was so mad and hurt. I left the bar that night and I don't remember too much. I get back to the apartment and I text Kristi C. about being pissed. She reply's back and I tell her about what happened. I was trying to stay up, but I just felt like crying. I asked her to come over and keep me company. I needed someone to talk to. I told her that I didn't want to have sex, I just need someone to be with me. I don't know how long it has been since I felt that bad. I tell Ron she is coming over, and I go to my room and lay down. She gets there and lays down with me. We lay together for about twenty minutes before we start making out. I was so trashed, I don't really remember how it started. I still wasn't planning on having sex with her...until she grabbed my hands and has me pull down her pants. It was pretty much over from there. I do remember the point where I sobered up. I wanted to say her name and realized I didn't know who I was sleeping with! Then I realized that I was having sex! This is like an hour into it!!! That has never happened to me before. When I was done I must have passed out, because when I woke up she was gone. I was hoping that it was all a dream, but I don't often wake up nude. I don't know what to do now. That was the last thing I wanted to happen. Dee is getting in like really soon. I can't say the exact day, but I am fucked. I have no reason to believe that she will keep a secret. I guess this time I really messed up. I guess I should have taken Tara's (uga) advice about not getting drunk every weekend, but hind sight is 20/20.

Saturday I get up at nine, which is amazing considering I got to bed around 530am. I rented a car at the airport and started my trip to Tampa at around 1130am. Long drive. I got checked into the hotel at 330pm. I had made a reservation on friday night, but when I got to the hotel they didn't have my reservation. So I paid over a hundred dollars for a room that doesn't exist. I am trying to get that money back though. Then I paid over a hundred and fifty for a room that I didn't even sleep in! It's all gravy though, and I digress. I went to their Hotel, which was the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino (very nice), and met Kristi U. by the pool. We had a few drinks there (yay, she is finally 21), and then had some dinner. I love steak, and I had a very good one. I didn't realize it at the time, though, because I was paying attention to Kristi U. She is so gorgeous!!! I love that girl to death. I take that back; when you love a person as much as I love Kristi U., it is no longer love, it is worship. We had a few more drinks after dinner, while waiting for her girlfriend Tara, and Tara's friend. I was already nervous and excited about meeting Kristi, but I was scared to meet Tara. When I think about it though, we were destined to like eachother. She is my best friends girlfriend, and I have been friends with Kristi U. for eight years, so she had to like me. She was great, I like her a lot. I am definitely glad that I know these girls though, because they are man-eaters. (Our picture is in my links, Kristi is the brunette, and Tara is the Blonde) I don't know if I heard one positive thing about other people the whole time I was there. I got lots of compliments though. I think if I didn't know them, they would have tore me apart. I can see the changes in Kristi U. that have come from being with Tara, some good, some bad. If I didn't know Kristi U. and I met her on the street now, she wouldn't have given me the time of day. Interesting. But anyways, we all meet, and Tara is super friendly. I expected to have to watch how I look at Kristi U. and what I say, but she seemed to be throwing Kristi at me. I didn't know how to handle that. We went to Ybor City and got to see Dave Attell at the IMPROV. That was cool. Then back to the Hotel for some Dancing. On the way I told them about my plans to reenlist and go to Japan. Tara and her friend tried to talk me out of it. It was everything I wanted to hear, but it wasn't Kristi U. saying it. She chimed in every now and then, but not much. We get to the club in the Hotel and Tara is trying to talk me into sleeping in their room. I don't think she wanted me to drive drunk. Kristi is really drunk and Tara asks me to take her back to the Hotel room. Lucky thing too cause the poor girl could barely walk. We go back up to the hotel room and I make sure she is in bed and I am getting ready to leave but Kristi is begging me to stay. It was everything I have always wanted to hear from her, just not in the right context. I can not say no to the girl, so I fell asleep next to her. They came back to the room about an hour later and took some drunken photos of us. I woke up and was going to leave again, but Tara wouldn't let me. I woke up around nine, drove back to my hotel in downtown, showered, changed and went back to meet them by the pool. We relaxed for the afternoon, and it was great. They all had hang overs, poor things. If I wasn't driving that I night I probably would have been in the same boat. For as much as I am writing about this it seems like a long time, right? In truth it was less than twenty-four hours, but it really felt like a week. I loved that time slowed down for me and let me enjoy every second of it. It was the best day of my life. I have so much more to write, but I will do that tomorrow, I need sleep.

(ok, next day) I didn't want to leave. I was suppose to leave at 230pm to get back home by 7pm. I left at a little after 330pm. I got home at 830pm. It rained the entire ride back home. It was so fitting. I love when the weather matches my mood. To feel so good, and then have to leave was just like the big drop on a rollercoaster. It goes up to it's peak (Saturday), hangs there for a second (Sunday, before I left), and then the fall(when I left). I got home and just wanted to sleep forever. Let me live in the dreams of what I remember. I couldn't do that though, I had to get my mind off of it. I stayed up and watched a comedy and that helped a little.

Kristi U. asked me if she could come out and stay with me for about two weeks. I just stared at her. She asked if that was ok? I just stared at her. I thought I was dreaming. I thought about everything that I did that day to try to see if stuff didn't match up; the way a dream will bounce around. Maybe everything that was happening was a dream!!? No, that was not possible. Then I thought about how I rarely see Kristi, and what were the chances that she would ACTUALLY come to see me. Odds are not very good, but a boy can dream can't he? I realized that I better say something and figure it out later, so I told her I would love that. I don't know what we would do if she came out here, there isn't much here in good old St. Mary's. I could show her the whole town in about twenty minutes. I don't know...I really don't want to get my hopes up but I feel it growing already. I am excited.

I can't think of anything else that happened, but I think this is long enough. If you read this whole thing, I salute you trooper! You had to put some time in on this posting. lol

So I spent Sunday morning cleaning my room and went shopping at wally world to finish my bathroom project. I had to stop by the bar first because I was dumb enough to leave my card there again!! I bought a few poster frames, and an air matress so that I at least don't have to sleep on the floor anymore. So the room looks good, the bathroom looks great, and I sit down and relax. I was dead tired, BUT Katie was going to be there soon, so I didn't have time to sleep at all. She came over, and brought her very cute daughter (Camie). Ron and I barbequed and sat in the kitchen talking with Katie. Funny thing about kids...they get into everything. Katie, Camie, and I were in my room, and Camie wsa going through my stuff, making a mess, and juming on the bed. It's all good, it was funny. Camie goes into my chest where I keep my poetry, and basketball cards and other various stuff that I jammed in there before I moved in. Well she pulls something out and asks what it is. I look at her hand, and she is holding a condom!!! I forgot they were in there! I grab it and tell her it's nothing. Katie is just laughing. Then Camie says, "I need one of those." I was laughing too, but I was too embarrassed to look over at Katie. The day was nice and I definitely enjoyed spending time with them. When I walked her to her car it was raining. I should have grabbed my umbrella, but I wasn't thinking. So Camie is in the car seat and I give Katie a hug goodbye. I was thinking, "Do I kiss her?" I decided to try if I thought she held on longer than a normal hug. When I started to pull away I went for the kiss. Unfortunately her head was still turned the other way. So I went to kiss her and she started to turn her head, but I think it was more of to see what I was doing. I played it off and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I think I should call her but I really don't know what to say.